Good-bye, Hello: Beginning Anew

Adios, LOVELY place. Or at least that's what I've always called it. I'm saying good-bye to the apartment I've stayed for quite some time now.

Nah, it's not really lovely. Not even close. :D

I should have done it a long time ago. I remember my friend Carol's advice: "Where you live says a lot about your disposition in life." Well, I’ve always looked at it the other way around. I was willing to sacrifice, to be a bit of a masochist, to prove to myself again and again that I could endure small doses of suffering. It was all about endurance, a triumph of the human spirit, hopefully a rags-to-riches story in the future.

Call it weird, but I always had my own way of looking at things. I could not remain too comfortable about my current state lest I become completely contented and remain stagnant. I favor delayed gratification. A little suffering every now and then serves as a constant reminder that there are always better things to strive for. These bits and pieces of small triumphs become a source of hope in the future when more difficult things come about. I simply prefer to see things from bright side.

I remember the many times that I, covered by the black, disgusting vehicular fumes, had to wait for a ride under the debilitating sun. In a much smaller scale, it was a battle for survival where typically the weak gets trampled by the strong. Those who moved faster and wanted it more usually got to ride first. Those who were not so competitive had to endure more minutes of punishment. I am guilty of almost allowing myself to lose sanity a few of these times as I vowed not to wake up late again and to work harder and smarter so that in the future I didn’t have to go through such ordeal. If I could spare my future generations of such troubles, I would. The question I need to ask myself then is, Do I have what it takes?